A strange life of a stranger…

I have been meeting this stranger for quite a long time. I look at him, I talk to him. I always say ‘Hey dude! You are more handsome today. May be someone else feels that as well J’.

Well someone reading this would feel, so friendly with a stranger?? OH. Strange it is. ’ May be’.

A good answer to this strange question is ‘I myself don’t know why he is so strange to me’. Well that’s again strangeK.

When I look into his life, it’s stranger. And when I look at what he is now, it’s even stranger. Everything is strange looking at him, and there pops a thought balloon, ‘!!??!!’ . So what is so strange about this stranger?

Country fellow by origin, Innocent in his thoughts, Intelligent in his actions, sometimes stupid in his deeds.

I started looking if others also meet people like this. And an intelligent guess (well that’s my level J) was, everyone has one. But surprisingly, rarely one recognises him.

I recognised him some time back.

That day, I was sitting on a wall on the terrace of my hostel looking at the beautiful setting sun.

A guy like me would first see a ‘hue cone’ in the sky with changing intensities from blue to red. Then I suddenly got into the matrix forms of colour definition, slowly towards the movie ‘The matrix’. In the climax a strange question popped, ‘What created this?’ (That’s not another version of ‘The matrix’ of course J). Then again a series of questions popped out. And all these were strange questions which no one can answer. That moment, I felt like a kid, asking my dad the same questions. My dad used to tell, the way I used to pose these series of questions which usually many of us would have done and may be watch our kids ask the same. I remember asking these few questions to my dad ‘Who created that? (Pointing at the moon).’ He replied ‘It’s the god who created the whole universe’. ‘Where is he?’, ‘In all of us’, ‘Can we see him?’, ‘Yes you can’ and I remember the day he showed me the movie ‘Bhakta prahallada’ on our black and white T.V. Some were so funny like ‘My bicycle has three wheels but yours has two, why is that??’. Then funnily he used to reply ‘Darling, you are rich and I am poor.’ Then I used to jump and say ‘I have threeee wheels for my cycle and you have only two.’ The next day he bought a cycle bell for mine, though he had no money to buy for his. After some days, I remember asking my dad my first strange question, ‘How can someone sit on two wheels and ride a bicycle, wont they fall down?’ He smiled at me and answered ‘Balancing is the trick.’ Then it started again, ‘What is balancing?’……………

Days passed, now I see answering many questions by myself. Sometimes these questions remain buried inside. Sometimes I don’t like to ask these to the ignorant parents and sometimes I don’t dare to, at least to keep them happy. To the matter of fact, it’s a strange ignorant feeling which we always have. That’s when the kids check if we at least know the answer after living so long with those strange thoughts. Ultimately, most of the ignorant kids end up as the kids searching for the answers for the questions and unfortunately I am one such kid with such strange pursuit.

The moment I look back to these thoughts I see myself as a stranger, with no answers to answer those questions. Where are we heading to? What are we supposed to do? Live? Then for what? If for some thing then why? If for someone, who is that? Fortunately, the answer we give to that ‘who’, is god. May be that can stop this thoughts in some way, but for me the next question would be. ‘Who created him?’ Surprisingly one of the books tried to answer it ‘god has been created from shunyam (nothing)’. Then, what is nothing? If someone has to debate, they can debate on these stories of creation. But, unfortunately to the level of ignorance we are in, the only best person who can answer these questions would be our father, and the only answer we find is ‘acceptance.’

When we were kids, we were ready to accept. Why not now? May be that’s the ignorance of strange knowledge we have, searching for the logic around with a strong barrier of ego for acceptance.

Sometimes, we also get a different set of questions. It starts with ‘Why it’s happening only to me?’ The best people to answer this question were my friends ‘It’s fate yaar,’more than that, ‘It all for a better life,’ answered my mom.

We humans have two different tendencies, one to poke into the wound and feel the worse, or think that’s for a better healing and leave it. Well, fortunately I saw the third category also, those who poke make it worse and say, ‘It will heal better’…well thanks to them, they gave me a picture of a sadistJ.

To me, this moment, I get a question. ‘How could my life change so fast?’ I never used to accept that ‘During my bachelors life will change’. And I also never accepted that ‘I will never change’. But, I say change is continuous, but for some life grows better with a positive one. And the strange part is, how was that change positive in my life? To be frank, I dint even expect myself writing a blog with all this strange things.

When I look back, there were equally bitter and sweet changes in my life.

I remember the intelligent kid who used to fight with the fellows in his class during his school days. I remember the guy, who entered the hostels, used to have very bad relations and most of the times turning into a useless punching bag. I remember a short tempered guy, for his pursuit for a better life.

I remember a changing man with failures.

I remember a chap stepping out with achievements, friends, success and respect.

I remember a man who started feeling the strangeness of life of a strange person.

I remember the man as a stranger in the mirror….